bob & tom

Various photos from Tasmania, July 2015

It's a Sunday afternoon and I'm currently sitting in bed enjoying the view outside my window into my apartment courtyard. I'm sorting through some of my old photos, some which I always intended to upload here but never got around to it. My boyfriend is sleeping on the floor because he has a weird thing about sleeping in bed when he's sick. It's approaching winter in Berlin, so days spent indoors like today are becoming more common. I'm bittersweet about this - on the one hand I've never had a winter Christmas before; the mulled wine is already popping up on every corner along with the decorations and the cheesy music which I secretly love. The bars are smokier and dark, the streets quieter. On the other, I'm sad because I'm most likely heading home in February and I long for just one more of those long summer days drinking beer in the park and riding around the city. I'm sad that I'll never experience Berlin in the same way again. Maybe we'll stay until next July, is the thought that pops up in general conversation at least once a day between my boyfriend and I. But my life in Berlin seems too transient - I can't stay forever (although I could come back) - and so I feel as though I can't build towards anything meaningful here. For now, I'm happy just seeing where things go - decisions don't need to be made for another six weeks. Maybe I will experience another Berlin summer again.

the colours of fall

Tiergarten Berlin Oktober 2016

Yes I write here sometimes. I try to make it a regular thing, but alas it never sticks. After seven years I'm going to stop trying to make it stick and just write here from time to time.

This week I'm recovering from a bout of tonsillitis - I've spent a week in bed sitting next to my three plants (which I must say are dying because they sit right on top of the radiator). I find when I'm forced to take time off my feelings on the matter change dramatically as the week passes - at the beginning its fun for about a day before I get restless and clean the whole house wanting to get back to work. After four days, thats when the real relaxing happens - this was yesterday. I pulled out the copy of frankie that has been sitting on the window sill since I bought it and indulged in every sweet smelling page - it was lovely.

Afterwards, I started to search the internet for a point and shoot camera for my boyfriends birthday - it was then that I realised that a) I haven't taken a roll of film since I arrived in Berlin ten months ago and b) I consistently wished that all the photos I've amassed on my Olympus and iPhone had been taken on my film camera, in particular the photos above. I wanted the photos to have that slightly saturated tinge to the leaves and the eery silence in the blue sky that film photographs give you. I envied the colours of the film photos I was browsing, the emotion that can't be conveyed in a digital image. It made me feel anxious as to why I purchased such an expensive digital camera, when a 50 euro point and shoot will do the trick. I'm not sure if I'm quite ready to let go of my Olympus, but for the moment I'm going to give my film camera a bit more of a go.