November 02, 2009

One foot in front of the other..

(source: marc jacobs ad campaign, season unknown via tfs)
"So many choices are motivated by fear, one bad move and its all going to end. Maybe it’s about taking a deep breath, and forgiving yourself for yesterday’s mistakes."
~ Joey, Dawson's Creek

The stress of exams is forming from the inside of my stomach, and permeating into my lungs. I'm starting to have to remind myself to take breaths. I know I've done the sufficient study preparations, countless hours over the past year has been spent isolated in the library. It's not this that is making me anxious. Rather, the pressure is forming from the idea that how well I do will not be reflective of the amount that I know, rather how I feel, act and write on the day. To rely such a huge proportion of my life on something so uncertain scares me to death. I feel that a simple act of misreading the question, or the inability to shut the world out for just a second and focus on what I'm writing will be the downfall to my exams. I can't help but think that the glass is half empty and that silver lining doesn't exist. I understand that these exams aren't the be all and end all to my life, and living in this great democratic country, I could very much be a toilet cleaner and still live a prosperous life. However, I continue to become anxious that I won't live up to the unbelievably high standards that I continue to put myself up too, and that I will never be good enough. Oh boy, I don't think anyone can comprehend how much I can't wait for the next 15 days, 15 hours, 29 minutes and 15 seconds and until all of this stress is behind me.


  1. Cant say I know how it feels cos I didn’t do TEE …just be strong and calm. Im sure you will be fine. Take one day at a time xx